Ka-Ching!

A Bit Better...

Ok, so I had my Dr's appointment yesterday - and its not as bad as I thought.... by his scales Im only up 1.5kg's instead of the 2.5kgs heavier I thought myself to be, so a little bit of relief and anxiety lessened there.

I was also told that it was quite natural for me to put on some kg's whilst we try and find that elusive sweet spot where my restriction is working 100% of the time. So note to self - try not to stress so much about not seeing the scales drop as quickly as I would like. Actually my Dr was very reassuring in getting my panic rate down and basically told me to stop fretting that what I was experiencing was completely normal and that results are not instant. By the way I asked if he did lapband on the brain - "unfortunately no" was his reply. Another thing which I completely forgot about, and which he had no hesitation in reminding me off, is that I have only been on solids for basically 4 weeks (I was liquids for 4, and then mushies for 4) - again he stated its normal to put on a little here whilst going to this stage.. So I need to relax I guess.

I would also like to take the time here to say thankyou to all who stopped by and responded to my little (ok big) cry of panic... It really helped me to know that there are people reading my blog and it did give me other ways to look at my problem in trying to solve it.

Outi - not a spammer, but a dear friend and I thank you in reminding me about the other things I have going on medically which could attribute to my weight not shifting as I would like it too :) Low carb is definitely, I think the way to go for me.. After reviewing my food journal (Erica - you will be pleased to note that I actually have the calorie king program *grins*) when I wasnt eating as much carbs, I was losing weight. My carbs slowly crept up to around the 65 net total and "voila - milk from a cow" (as my youngest likes to say) and I started putting on weight. So I am going to lower my net carb intake to around 45 - 50 and see how I go from there... If its still too much I will go down lower and keep adjusting accordingly - Thankyou Outi!

Erica - you raised some really good points for me too! Portion size had been getting bigger as I stopped using my ACA plate that I had bought - so am definitely going back to that until portion control becomes ingrained in me for ever! I dont weigh my food, but I do have some rules which I tend to follow in regards to sizing. Basically any type of meat/protein is about a deck of cards in size, vegetables are free in portion size (but I use the palm of my hand generally in measuring) but I dont eat potatoes, corn or pumpkin.. Basically I try and stick to dark green leafy vegetables like spinach, cabbage etc.. So maybe thats something I need to consider and start doing..

My intake in regards to calories for the first six weeks was between 800 and 1000 (I know it seems little, but remember I had only progressed to mushies at this point) I have a couple of weeks after this where I hovered around the 1200 mark (no weight gain) and then after that its around the 1500 calorie mark because of my carbs.. So thanks matie, I do need to look at this and I will be dropping it to see how I go. Im going to aim for 1100 here I think, as now I am doing gym very consistently (five days a week).

I think I am focusing too much on dropping the weight, instead of the changes I see in happening with my body. You all probably know that I am very a much a scale junkie, and that for the last few weeks I havent weighed myself at all, but you know what? I think I need to! because that way if I see myself gain even a little I will start to be more strict with myself in what I am consuming. I think Ive actually proven that too myself these past few weeks, because not jumping on the scale and not monitoring this aspect saw me panic majorly when I gained weight as you all now know.

Gym and my personal trainer have been a godsend. Dont get me wrong I dont like exercise as yet, (not a junkie here!) but my body shape is changing. Ive dropped a great deal of inches in the past five weeks with 32" gone forever and my clothes size dropping in the top from a size 20/22 to an 18 and my pants size dropping from a 18 to a 16, with no muffin top!

I mean the above is great, so why wasnt I focusing on that??

Arrrghhh, I mean seriously everyone is amazed when I tell them of my measurements and the amount I have lost, so why couldnt I work up the same enthusiasm?

Something to ponder.

Again thankyou everyone, for helping me pull my head out of the sand and have a good look at what I am really doing! *hugs to you all*

Lapband Update - I'm Worried...

About the amount I can eat and about the weight I havent lost...

My op date was on the 3rd of April - so yesterday I was 11 weeks banded (if I counted correctly). In the past 5 weeks Ive thrown away my scales and had become determined not to carry on like the scale junkie I was... and guess what I succeeded! I had been feeling so proud of myself for not jumping on the scales and was actually waiting for this day so I could justify jumping on and weighing myself. Well guess what? I was totally peeved and shocked to find that I had actually put weight on! Instead of my 8 kilos down my scales are showing that I have put on nearly 2.5 kilos and my loss is back to just over 5! Bugger me! I cant even blame that time of the month, for it was over a week ago!!!

So now Im worried and I am just a tiny bit afraid...

Ive been watching what I eat, pretty consistently.. I do weights 3 times a week, have 2 Personal Training sessions, and cardio at least 2 if not 3 times. Im up to 7.5mls in an 11ml band I believe, and Im worried that I actually might not have a normal stomach and that I will never find that elusive sweet spot that I read about so often.

Dont get me wrong - I do experience some restriction (with certain types of foods) have pb'd enough these past five weeks since my last fill to realize when I have to stop eating, but yet have gained weight!!!???

Am I normal? Am I ever going to see the scales start shifting downwards?

I know banding is a tool, and believe me I am doing my best to work with it! Im doing all the right things with exercise - even though I dont even like it as yet.. Im counting my calories and writing them down obsessively, and yet I gained weight!

Bloody hell!

Family Health Issues

I havent been updating my blog, and things feel as though they are falling in a heap.

I dont know if I have shared this in the past but my Dad has a rare form of Fredericks Ataxia which is a disease that slowly kills the part of the brain that controls the central nervous system. Basically it is killing off his motor functions, balance, speech and reflexes. He has been confined to a wheel chair for many years now, but... the disease has started to progress more rapidly and my family and I are having to make some huge adjustments so that we can help him and my mother in any way we can.

He has gotten to the stage that he is even starting to lose the use of his muscles in his throat making it hard for him to digest food without choking and it being of course being entirely unpleasant for him.. He sneezes and falls out of his wheel chair or cracks his head on the table and his speech if you were to meet him would be very much sounding like he was greatly intoxicated. He is getting very frustrated because his mind is sound, but unfortunately the nature of the disease is slowly shutting down his communications with us.

The last six months has been the worst with him physically detoriating very fast. We can only cross our fingers and hope. My mother is not coping either, and even though she acts strong and at times portrays an upbeat attitude I very much believe she is on the cusp of having a nervous breakdown like she did a couple of years back. My husband and myself have asked them to move in with us so that I can help my Mom physically (the lifting, dressing etc) with my Dad, whilst being able to let them have some normalcy in their lives as well (Im positive having the grandkids around them makes them feel really good.) and I get to help Mom more and offer a shoulder both physically and emotionally when its needed.

Its been hard to admit even to myself that my Dad is getting worse. For over half my life he has fought a huge battle in trying to slow the progression of this disease, and I suppose all of us have become complacent about it. We know he has disabilities, but because they have been there for a long time, you dont really take a great deal of notice of them. However, since they have been living with us (from Christmas time) - its really been an eye opener.

My Dad's Dr's have told us that what will happen is that he will most likely get a cold and his organs will start shutting down. We have been greatly concerned, as in the middle of last year, he had a heart scare and now we have only recently found out that his liver is not working as it should either, along with numerous other problems making themselves known.. In the past he was very upbeat and was keen to try anything experimental to try and slow this process, (he's even had botox injected into nerve endings around his liver) but in more recent months seems to have taken on a defeatist attitude (ie: doesnt want to go to physio therapy or such) which of course makes it alot harder to keep him positive.

Its definitely made it very hard for all of us around him, to see him become this way, as hes always been the biggest warrior. My stitching and own personal committments to others hasnt been as it should, and to be honest I dont know whether I am Arthur or Martha right now. My blogging is basically non existant, and I know I am not contributing to exchanges as I should either. I have asked Becky to let me stay on board at SBEBB until I hear word that my exchanges have been received, and then I will be taking a hiatus from participating as my family and I try to do whats best for my dad.

So for now, thats it.

A Busy Fortnight!

Lapband Update:

Well on the 26th of April I had my first post op appointment with my surgeon - I was pleased to note that his and my scales (bar about 200grams) nearly measure exactly, so feel confident that what my scales say I am, I AM! (I can actually justify my purchase of a set of Tanita scales now *grins*)

My surgeon was impressed with my healing (my scars are starting to fade already) and I was told that my operation went really well. He commented that I didnt have a fatty liver at all (which made me feel really good) and that my whole op lasted around the 45 minute mark - was great to hear all these little comments, as I had actually no idea what went on apart from my recovery!

He also gave me my first fill, which I was quite shocked about as I thought I would have to wait around 6 weeks. However, because I was healing well he told me that he wanted to be quite aggressive to start so that I wouldnt lose the mindset that I was in and so that I wouldnt get discouraged. (I filled him in on all my personal plans that I wanted to start and achieve)

He actually tried to put 6ml in my band, however, 1ml came straight back into the syringe. So apparently my band is a little tight, which Im not surprised about as I was on just over 3 weeks banded.

So I went home, had liquids for 2 days and carefully rested my tummy by not consuming any solids. However by Sunday (when solids were once more allowed) the hunger pains started to kick in, and I was surprised to find that I had no restriction at all.

To my non banded readers - restriction is when you have to basically chew your food properly as the fill tightens the band around your stomach not allowing big parts of food to be processed. If you dont chew well - you know all about it and get a massive pain in your chest area, which feels like a golf ball in your oesophagus - as you can imagine, its something you want to avoid at all costs!

So I have my next adjustment - next Tuesday the 9th of May.

To be honest when I rang to see if I could get in sooner, I was very disappointed with how his receptionist spoke to me. I told her that I had no restriction at all, and that I was able to even eat bread and red meat (which apparently not alot of bandsters can, due to bread swelling in the stomach and red meat getting stuck) she then commented, that I had to have willpower! I was so upset, because even though I have been feeling hungry - I have not increased my meal sizes at all, and am actually being a stickler in regards to the rules. At no stage was I told that I couldnt eat these things, just that if I tried them to be very careful because of other patients experiences. So needless to say I was not a happer camper when getting off the phone.

In some more good news, even though my weight hasnt shifted in the past two weeks I have dropped down 1 size in my tops - from a size 20/22 to a size 18! as well as dropping a jean size to boot - 18 to a 16! Two weeks ago, when I tried on my pair of 16 jeans I had the dreaded muffin top happening - but its now gone for good!!! and I can do them up comfortably without them feeling like Im trying to cut off my circulation when I sit down *grins*

Starting Weight: 105kg
Todays Weight: 98kg

General LIfe:

Mentally alot of changes are happening within.... Im determined not to fail in regards to me living a healthier life and have taken steps in the right direction to allow me to be able to achieve this goal. One of course was the decision to get my lapband surgery done, the other was to join a gym and get a personal trainer.

After being given the all clear from my surgeon about exercise, I rang, made an appointment with Fernwood Womens Gym in Cannington, and from visiting there and speaking to the ladies - joined! I also opted for 20 personal training sessions, as lets face it - Im not the worlds biggest self motivator and Im not ashamed to admit it.

Monday evening I was back at the gym doing my first class of bellydance - which was unbelievable. I was so pleased and surprised to find out that my old employer and wonderful first bellydance teacher was in fact giving the classes - it felt like a sign you know, that yes I was meant to be here.

Tuesday I had my orientation and met my personal motivator (different from a Personal Trainer) We went through a circuit and were given weights that I should be using, and basically informed which exercise targeted the specific parts of the body. This circuit was specifically designed for toning and not building alot of muscle. It was great and informative - and after going through, I then did another course of the circuit before heading home :)

My first meeting with my new PT was on Wednesday morning, and let me tell you it was fantastic! I basically stated when signing up for a PT person that I wanted somebody who would have no hesitation in kicking my butt, if she could see my motivation was lacking and thats exactly what I got. Hayley and I just clicked and I felt comfortable with her from the first moment I met her. So the first half hour basically was setting goals, making sure that they werent unrealistic in regardless to weightloss and getting rid of body fat, and what was I prepared to do to achieve them.

Well I went the whole hog, and told her that I wanted to train vigoursly in regards to intensity and that I wanted to set a permanent twice a week training with her kind self every week for at least 10 weeks to give myself a great kickstart to this journey. I also told her I wanted to learn how to run! which is something I have never been able to do confidently and without looking like Im trying to wash windows!

From there we then went through about four exercises to see what weight I could lift right now, to be able to give her some idea of what I could achieve and attain.

I was so surprised - my big self managed to bench press 50kgs with my puny arms and then 100kgs in the leg presses!!!

She reassured me by letting me know, that I wouldnt be lifting these weights to start because she knew that there was no way I would be able to do 3 lots of 15 reps without everything turning to jelly, I had to laugh because after doing 5 reps that was exactly what I was like.

Anyhow it was great and I went home feeling that I was on my way to success.

Thursday was rest day for me in regards to going to the gym - as I had a prior committment in visiting my sister-in-law. She has a new baby so I volunteered to give her some me time, whilst I cleaned house for her - so in a way I did get my work out as I did everything from mopping to vacumming to scrubbing the floors on my hands and knees.

Friday morning I started running. Yep thats right, I started running!!! I walked the kiddies to school, in which I must have been doing an ok pace as my littlest said "Mum, slow down my legs are hurting!" *grins* and on the way home, I walked 2 driveways, ran 2 driveways and could feel my face turning bright red with exertion, but none the less I did it and felt so great afterwards, even if I was puffling like a steam engine.

I came home, showered, ate a small refined carb breakfast and took myself off to Fernwood for my first proper PT session with Hayley. Oh My God! I am so unfit! and today I am so sore!!!! I did leg presses, bench presses, rowing, bicep curls, lunges and pushups - all the while working my abs with my breathing!! Did I mention pushups!!! I mean come on! Heres me pushing up my 98kilo frame and I accomplished 45 of them!!

I am just so proud of myself. I came home, was feeling great and thought, I will just have a little lay down on the couch - I couldnt move for 45 minutes and Mum even had to make me a coffee and bring it over so I could reach it LOL!

We had previously decided that Mum and I would head off to the casino that night, which was great... but it was coming around 3pm and everything was starting to freeze up. I still managed to go with Mum doing all the driving and thank goodness we only play the pokies so I had a chair to sit on all night :)

Today in muscle soreness - its much worse... however I know that its because I am actually using them, and I have just only realized that I have muscles in places I didnt know were supposed to be there!

Anyone got a pillow for my hiny?

Update

On the stitching front - theres not a lot to show unfortunately!

Im still diligently working on Mystery X - and CathyMK I promise to post a pic by Thursday! Im also still playing catchup here but have decided to leave part three as is right now, and get onto part four so I can hopefully be caught up by the time part five is released! I dont like my chances!

My pinkeep is stitched and just ready to be finished for my next exchange piece - so am definitely happy about that! and I will be uploading some pictures from my last 2 exchanges - so yes there will be some eye candy this week!

In stash news, I received a new stitching light last week. I purchased the Ott arial 2 in 1 lamp - and I am just loving it for my stitching! The only disappointment I can say about it straight off the bat, is that everything is metal (the base) until you actually get to the light fitting itself, which for some reason they have decided to make plastic! For $330 I was expecting it to be all metal - however that said - the bulbs are guaranteed for 10,000 hours stitching, and there is absolutely no heat being emitted from it when sitting directly underneath.

All in all I am happy about that purchase :)

In lapband news;

Im down 7 kilos - and holding steady. I've started blending some heavier foods - due to pure boredom with liquids, and also because I actually starting passing out - twice this past week. After a hasty visit to my GP, and with everything being checked out it was decided that it is more than likely my body adjusting to its new caloric intake. I have my first post op visit with my surgeon this Thursday, and cant wait to see how I am doing. I do have a few concerns about my port moving around, so I hope its just me freaking out a little with all this being so new, and that it hasnt actually occured.

My measurements - Im down 15cm all over - with 2.5" coming off my waist this week - Im so happy about that.

Ive also been given the all clear to stop my diabetes medication after three weeks of being banded! Who would have thought! That was something that I was desperate for it to happen, and unbelievably it has with my sugar levels dropping a full point and a half and staying there!

Health wise (apart from a few scares last week) all is going great - and Im one happy lapbander :)